When I started to blog, just a few years ago

And the size of my readership began to grow

My wife made one point perfectly clear:

If I wrote about her, I’d be out on my ear

Since then, I’ve mentioned her just once or twice

But I think you’ll agree I have always been nice

This blog, however, is all about her

I just hope by the end that my readers concur

I’ve said nothing amiss, I’ve done nothing wrong –

She never said anything about writing a song.

 

The reason this entry is about my dear wife

(apart from the fact she’s a huge part of my life)

Is that Monday will see the day thirteen years since

She turned in the church and said (with a wince)

‘Go on, I suppose, if no one else will’

And then we were married – and married we are still.

Thirteen years, you’ll agree, is a very long time

(I’d get less for murder… or a similar crime)

I’m joking, of course, it’s gone rather well

We rarely disagree, hardly shout, never yell

There’s a very good reason why we seldom fight:

I always back down – because she’s always right.

 

I met her at Uni, on my very first day

I thought she was nuts (she thought I was gay)

Ok, that’s not true, but since the end of that week

Barely a day has gone by, where we didn’t speak

She studied History, while I studied Law

I’d never met anyone like her before

She collected sheep – not real ones of course

She liked Agatha Christie, and Inspector Morse

She could play violin, the piano and sing

Charles I, strangely, was her favourite king

We watched the same movies, our tastes were alike

(despite her obsession with old Dick Van Dyke)

Her fave film of all time, bizarrely, was ‘Clue’

She was slightly fanatical about Scooby Doo

But otherwise our tastes would oft coincide

(leaving her musicals love to one side)

And when it came to music, I realised with glee

She owned a lot of the same albums as me

There were exceptions of course – she had Abba and Queen

Plus, she didn’t despise Ocean Colour Scene

But those little differences are what made us click

And she didn’t seem put off when I acted a prick

She humoured my nerdiness, embraced my weird

Suddenly, from nowhere, confidence appeared

By the time our first year came to an end

It was clear she’d become my very best friend.

 

When we first started dating, back in ‘99

I’d walk over to her house, she’d cycle to mine

I realised I loved her, and as that love grew

She took me to Edinburgh in 2002

It seemed like the right time to get down on one knee

And ask if she wouldn’t mind marrying me

Then two years later, on July Thirty-First

She agreed to have me, for better or worse

In sickness and health, ‘til death us do part

(despite her loud snoring, and the fact that I fart).

 

And now, nearly five thousand days later

I still don’t believe I could find someone greater

She’s my soulmate, my best friend, the love of my life

I’m so very lucky to have her as my wife

Since then she has given me two special boys

Our clean, quiet home, is now all mess and noise

But I wouldn’t have it any other way

As I think back to that bright July day

The boys can annoy us, make us want to scream

But at the end of the day, we’re a pretty good team

So, as I look forward to those years to come

Here’s to the perfect wife, best friend, and Mum

 

Happy Anniversary x