This Sunday’s the World Cup Final
And England will not be there
We won’t be lifting the trophy in Moscow
Dancing on the streets of Red Square
Whatever you may think of football
This has been a special world cup
For a while we truly believed
(then on Wednesday night fucked it right up)
The first World Cup I remember
Was Italia ’90 – I was ten
It was the first time I really loved football
The hopes of a nation, and then
We played our old foes in the semis
And extra-time ended all square
West Germany beat us on penners
I can still recall my despair.
Our fortunes since then have been woeful
Disappointment and failure ever since
Even the most hopeful of fans
Would take some work to convince.
We failed to qualify US Ninety-Four
So I supported the Irish instead
Diana Ross’ comical penalty
The heat going to Jack Charlton’s head
Made the second-stage France Ninety-Eight
Michael Owen’s incredible strike
Couldn’t beat old Argentina
And Glenn Hoddle was soon on his bike
Then Japan in Two-Thousand-and-Two
England made it to the final eight
But the overall winners Brazil
Unsurprisingly sealed our fate
In Germany Two-Thousand-and-Six
A quarter-final defeat once again
Losing on penalties now habit
And the final straw for old Sven
This time our rivals were Portugal
Wayne Rooney was having a stinker
When his teammate got him red-carded
The smug greasy Portuguese winker
To South Africa Two-Thousand-and-Ten
Where a last-sixteen knock-out awaited
Once again the Germans destroyed us
Leaving England fans sad and deflated
Then four years ago down in Brazil
England’s worst world cup exit to date
Finishing bottom of Group D in disgrace
Paved the way for Gareth Southgate
Qualifying for Russia all sorted
In the group stage our Three Lions shone
Then on to knock out Colombia
With fears of penalties now gone
Winning with ease against Sweden
Set us up nicely for Wednesday night
A team playing as one for their nation
With World Cup glory in sight
But, alas, it was not to be
With the trophy almost in touch
We couldn’t beat lowly Croatia
The final was one step too much
I’d have loved to be sat there on Sunday
Watching something that I’ve never seen
England in a World Cup Final
Standing for ‘God Save The Queen’
Cheering our team onto victory
Losing our shit when we score
It might have been fifty-two years
But we’d be champions once more
I guess I’ll have to keep waiting
In four years I’ll dream once again
Perhaps then England’s young squad
Will fair better as more mature men
It’s still been a fantastic journey
Not just for passion and noise
But I’m proud of my country once more
And I can share that with both of my boys
For a moment we thought it may happen
But the dream can’t be ours any more
Turns out it’s not coming home
It’s being delivered next door.
Thanks for reading x