Hi there.
In my slightly weakened psychological state, I’ve gone and re-written another classic song, in order to make it more appropriate for the current situation my wife and I (and no doubt many of you) find ourselves in. Stuck in our house. Still.
I hope you like it.
p.s. – It’s to the tune of ‘Our House’ by Madness (hence this week’s title) and, in case you wanted to sing along, or remind yourself of the tune, here’s the song to play in the background while you read through).
Daddy wears a knackered cap
Mummy’s fucked, she needs a nap
The kids are fighting to the death
Isaac never goes to sleep (ah-ah-ahhhhhh)
Ollie’s got a zoom meeting, he can’t hang around
(We’re stuck in)
Our house, in the middle of our street
Our house, in the middle of our-
Our house it is a tip
There’s always toys to stand upon
The place has gone to shit
We used to be house-proud
But then we procreated, and the living room got ploughed
(We’re stuck in)
Our house, in the middle of our street
Our house, in the middle of our-
Our house, in the middle of our street
Our house, in the middle of our (something tells me that we’ve got to move away from here)
Daddy gets up late for work
Doesn’t bother to get dressed
Mummy drags Isaac to school
Sees him off with a swift kick (ah-ah-ahhhhhh)
Yet she’s the one he’s going to miss instead of Dad.
(We’re stuck in)
Our house, in the middle of our street
Our house, in the middle of our-
I remember before lockdown, sat in pubs around our town
And we had such a very good time, such a fine time
Such a happy time
And I remember how the boys, would sit and play with all their toys
Then we’d say let’s go out for dinner
When I was thinner.
Daddy’s wearing just his pants
Mummy retches at his dance
His junk is wobbling downstairs
Isaac still won’t fucking sleep
There’s a pile of washing in a heap, we can’t hang it out
(We’re stuck in)
Our house, in the middle of our street
Our house, in the middle of our street
Our house, in the middle of our street
Our house, in the middle of our-
Our house, one we once wanted to keep
Our house, in the middle of our street
Our house, now we’d best move somewhere cheap
Our house, in the middle of our street
Our house, in the middle of our street, our house.
Thanks for reading x
