I lie there in waiting
Alert on your stairs
A vast black body
Antennae with hairs
To the naked eye
I may well be dead
But I’m patiently sat
‘Til it’s your time for bed
Then as you approach
And squint in the light
I’ll flutter one wing
To give you a fright
Then I’m still once again
Like a miniature bat
As you lean in to look
“What the fuck is that?”
A creature of darkness
An insect-shaped goth
A prince of the night time
I’m the world’s biggest moth
I patiently wait
While you search for a book
Take your best shot, pal
I don’t give a fuck
You think you’ve surprised me
Caught me unawares
As the book crashes down
There’s a smudge on the stairs
I lay flat and look squashed
It’s part of my game
While you get a tissue
To gather my frame
You carry me off
Throw my ‘corpse’ in the bin
But as I land in your trash
I stifle a grin
As the lid closes down
I crawl, like a sloth
To wait for my moment
I’m the world’s biggest moth
The very next day
The bin opens once more
You’ve forgotten me now
Think your house is secure
With that first crack of light
I dart through the space
And the next thing you know
I’m there IN YOUR FACE
I flutter; you splutter
You shout, yelp and swear
Your mind wanders back
To that stain on the stair
You thought I was dead
You fell for my trick
Now you’re waving your arms
And you look like a dick
You grab for a weapon
Locate a dishcloth
But when you turn back I’ve gone
I’m the world’s biggest moth
I flew near the window
Of that you are certain
But where am I now?
Is that me on the curtain?
I’m the master of stealth
The king of disguise
My huge body vanished
In front of your eyes.
I smile to myself
As you strike what you think
Is me near the window
While I’m sat by the sink
You swing, and you swear
Then you sigh and give up
As I skip cross your bowl
Wipe my arse on your cup
My gigantic frame
Like a winged behemoth
I don’t give a shit
I’m the world’s biggest moth
You head to the lounge
Plunge the room into dark
While I busy myself
By leaving my mark
It’s fun flying round
But my ultimate goal
Is to scare you again
Near the washing up bowl
I rest on the edge
Give myself time to think
But then lose my footing
And fall in the sink
I flap, start to panic
Must escape, but then…. Fuck
I’m too far from the side
I can’t swim, and I’m stuck
I’m trapped in the water
Surrounded by froth
Could this be the end
Of the world’s biggest moth?
When you wake the next morning
And go to your sink
To fill up the kettle
And make your first drink
Your tired eyes glance down
Can’t believe what they see
In among all the bubbles
That right pal, it’s me.
The master of evasion
Has finally been found
Because I got over cocky
And ended up drowned
So, as you scoop me out
Dump me back in the bin
That’s it: ‘Game Over’
I lose and you win
The dinosaurs, the dodo
The woolly mammoth
I too am no more
The world’s biggest moth
Alone in the darkness
My last resting place
Never again
Will I fly at your face…
… but as the bin closed
Did you see my wing twitch?
I was really dead, right?
Sleep well, bitch.