Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I’d like to take a minute
There is no catch
I’ll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Sandbach
In East Cheshire, Poynton, I was born and raised
On Deva fields was where I spent most of my days
Chillin’ out, maxin’, relaxin’ all cool
And playing some football when outside of school
When a couple of guys wearing ridiculous hats
Started making trouble and acting like twats
I got in one little fight and because I was puny
My mum said ‘Enough, get your arse off to Uni’
Because my A-levels took a while to master
I fucked up my grades and ended up in Lancaster
But it turned out to be the best fail of my life
As I met a girl there who ended up as my wife
No plans after Uni; and so, like a fool
I followed my class mates and went to Law School
My girlfriend seemed keen, but I thought I would test her
By fucking off for a year, and living in Chester
When I graduated there, I phoned up, tried to reach her
But it turned out she fancied becoming a teacher
So as soon as I moved back and explained my needs
She bid me farewell, and pissed off to Leeds.
By that point, however, I’d got down on one knee
And asked if she thought she’d do better than me
She decided she couldn’t, so just like Beyoncé
I put a ring firmly on it, and got a fiancé
Just one year later, we were together at last
And all of this is now a thing of the past
She applied for some jobs, of which there were two
And before long she got one, and then we both knew
We’d be moving ‘cross Cheshire to buy our first house
I was settling down with my soon-to-be spouse
Because we were young, and not very rich
We bought a semi-detached house, in Middlewich
Then, after a while, we decided to move on
To be nearer her job, and with that we were gone
I hired a van and when it came near
The license plate fell off and it had mould in the mirror
If anything I could say that this van was rare
But by that point I frankly didn’t fucking care
We pulled up to our house about seven or eight
And I yelled to the neighbours ‘We’re the people you’ll hate’
I looked at my kingdom, I was in my new patch
To sit on my throne as the Prince of Sandbach