Now, this is a story all about how

My life got flipped-turned upside down

And I’d like to take a minute

There is no catch

I’ll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Sandbach

In East Cheshire, Poynton, I was born and raised

On Deva fields was where I spent most of my days

Chillin’ out, maxin’, relaxin’ all cool

And playing some football when outside of school

When a couple of guys wearing ridiculous hats

Started making trouble and acting like twats

I got in one little fight and because I was puny

My mum said ‘Enough, get your arse off to Uni’

Because my A-levels took a while to master

I fucked up my grades and ended up in Lancaster

But it turned out to be the best fail of my life

As I met a girl there who ended up as my wife

No plans after Uni; and so, like a fool

I followed my class mates and went to Law School

My girlfriend seemed keen, but I thought I would test her

By fucking off for a year, and living in Chester

When I graduated there, I phoned up, tried to reach her

But it turned out she fancied becoming a teacher

So as soon as I moved back and explained my needs

She bid me farewell, and pissed off to Leeds.

By that point, however, I’d got down on one knee

And asked if she thought she’d do better than me

She decided she couldn’t, so just like Beyoncé

I put a ring firmly on it, and got a fiancé

Just one year later, we were together at last

And all of this is now a thing of the past

She applied for some jobs, of which there were two

And before long she got one, and then we both knew

We’d be moving ‘cross Cheshire to buy our first house

I was settling down with my soon-to-be spouse

Because we were young, and not very rich

We bought a semi-detached house, in Middlewich

Then, after a while, we decided to move on

To be nearer her job, and with that we were gone

I hired a van and when it came near

The license plate fell off and it had mould in the mirror

If anything I could say that this van was rare

But by that point I frankly didn’t fucking care

We pulled up to our house about seven or eight

And I yelled to the neighbours ‘We’re the people you’ll hate’

I looked at my kingdom, I was in my new patch

To sit on my throne as the Prince of Sandbach